Autumn in the Dublin Mountains
I’ve been blogging less of late, largely because my mental health levels have dropped steeply. I am not in the best of places right now. The being an author thing – it’s heavy. A lot of Stuff.
“My yoke is easy,” says the Gospel of Matthew, “and My burden is light.” I don’t feel that way. I feel like Atlas. I am so tired of it all.
I miss the suspended state of mind I was in when in the last year of writing White Feathers, then continuing with the edits. Life was so much simpler then. I was not carrying baggage. I want to feel light again. I want to relinquish this weight.
Today I grabbed a bottle of mineral water and a large chocolate bar and took off into the Dublin Mountains. I walked about fifteen kilometres: starting from Ticknock and heading across the forest in new paths to connect to the Wicklow Way. Then across to Tibradden and up to the top of Cruagh Hill opposite, before retracing my steps and looping back via Fairy Castle and the Three Rock mast. The photo taken above was in the deciduous forest in Cruagh. I liked the mixture of leaves and light, though I feel my phone did not do justice to the silver birch. I did not want to turn back, but I had no choice since I had brought the car. So at Tibradden fort I sucked on several squares of chocolate with caramelised sugar segments in them, crunched the segments, then took a good gulp of water and headed back.
I don’t advocate walking as a cure. That would be offensive. Nor will it resolve the greater pain and tragedy that seems to blight the world these days. It’s more that this is an honest thing, untainted by all the Stuff. As is cycling to my workplace, and the work I do every day. They are in their own separate space. Every time I create space for something that is not part of Stuff, I take back something for me, something that is ring-fenced against depressive space and against other people’s stuff.
Writing, too. Thank God that has stayed untouched.
I’d like to thank booksellers, readers, bloggers, fellow authors, followers and my wonderful publisher Brandon/O’Brien Press for all their support over the past year. You have my continuing respect and gratitude. I know I have very many blessings and so much support from so many and I don’t want anyone to think I don’t know that.
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