Today I read some of the saddest words I’d come across, from a gifted and generous practitioner of the arts whose ability and intelligence I hold in high esteem: I don’t know if I will ever write again.
The reason for this was burnout – but not from overwork. It was emotional exhaustion from the frankly abusive environment within which so many writers, poets, artists, performers and musicians in Ireland are forced to work. Whether through employment of stigma through review abuse, hostile behaviour towards vulnerable minorities, straight, flat-out racism, sexual harassment, abuse of harsh defamation laws to silence those who speak up, bullying and nepotism in arts bodies and the commentariat, or the constant, constant gaslighting that these closed groups perpetuate against victims because they’re terrified the same thing will happen to them, so of course it’s all our imagination – whichever of these malevolent forces is chewing and spitting out brave people, strong people, gifted people, I’m absolutely fucking sick of it.
I’m sick of seeing good people’s careers derailed and destroyed. I’m sick of those who speak up and fight getting stonewalled and ignored. I’m sick of diversity initiatives that are not worth the paper they’re written on because abusers in the arts scene still retain their power. I’m especially over abusers infiltrating their way into organisations designed to speak up against bad behaviour, either by having publishing power over people in the organisation, or appropriating the cause themselves.
So, what are we going to do about this? How are we going to get our joy and freedom back? I’m saying “we” because there are a lot of us who have been wrung dry by this system. I’ve found my peace, though, and I’m writing again.
I don’t want to fight and overcome toxic systems. I don’t want to plough my energy into conflict with an order that has no real incentive to change. My desire is rather to break free from these feelings of alienation. I want to love writing again.
And I do.
So, in the style of Joanne Harris, 10 Things I Did to Get My Joy Back.
Continue reading “How Do We Get Our Joy Back?”